I'm still a clutz. Spaz. I can trip on flat surfaces. I make Bella from Twilight look Graceful. It was worse when I was younger, I admit. I have had sprained ankles yearly since I was 13. But Sunday, it was really REALLY bad.
I got up and went to get out the door, I put on my heels (Mistake #1). I went to get coloring books and crayons off the book shelf, caught the heel on the carpet, wobbled, so the other foot came down and wobbled, and I fell against the bookshelf and then fell against the wall. Knocked the breath out of me, and I have a bruise on the back of my arm the size of a baseball. Mark helped me up, and realizing it was going to be a rough day, quickly changed to flats. I got to church, and tripped out the door of the van on my skirt.
During church they talked about the importance of a journal and keeping records for your posterity and I thought about writing the fall of the morning down. Little did I know I would have more to add to it.
When we got home, it was time to do chores outside. I tripped over the garden hose, and fell into the awning, hitting the top of my head on the railroad tie. As I recovered from that I fell backwards over the garden tools and fell on my behind.
I decided to come in and make lunch. While doing that cut myself with a knife and Mark told me to quit while I was ahead. I decided to go sit down at the kitchen table and let him take over lunch but as I was walking over to the bench Taylor pushed it into me and rammed my knee with it.
I was looking for old family pictures in the closet to hang in our newly re-remodeled front room, and found some in the hall closet. As I got one picture out, the frame and back seperated, and the glass fell out and shattered on the floor. Very nearly missing my foot. I gathered up the pieces, throw them away and pulled out another picture. I told Mark to stay back, he'll catch my clutzy, but he didn't believe me. He took the picture from me, and sure enough, the glass snapped in his hand with NO pressure of anykind. We started putting it into the trash can, and a piece fell out and landed on the inside of my shoe, cutting the top of my foot.
Later that day, as we were discussing my being a super trouble magnet, we found the curtain rod brackets we were looking everywhere for. We decided it was most likely best I NOT be on a ladder, I decided to at least carry it over to Mark. I carefully released the side braces, and slowly lifted it towards me. SLAM, the opposite side of the ladder slammed toward me and one step hit me squarely in the forehead.
I really, REALLY was careful the rest of the day. The only other strange thing was we took a basket of flowers down from our top "loft" shelf (dust bunny shelf for decorating). We tried it in different places around the room, didn't like it, so I tried to place, and then throw it back up to the shelf. As I threw it up there, it turns sideways and a steak knife comes out and hits me in the chest on the way down. Thank GOODNESS it was dull. And how did a steak knife end up in a basket of flowers that has sat up on a shelf for two years?? Good question.
Now, they say the purpose of a journal is to "direct and convince all to come unto Christ". I'm not exactly sure how that story will, except that it is only through him that I am still alive with my innate ability to be in the middle of one accident or another. Those who don't know about the Falling Out of the Truck Story (while driving), or the Almost Got Kidnapped at the Public Swimming Pool Story, those will have to wait.
